Thoughts, Opinions, Reviews of the Story

But that seems like I am doing more good in the long run.

I want to stay neutral, because everything needs balance.

Btw, I remember that quote that's in your signature nouq. I saw that show before. (I can read it O.o)

O.O you did? Sweet! I forget what its called...i'd have to look it up again lol

Hmmmm...For chapter 3, maybe there needs to be a longer description of action. All of us in the dungeon prolly have trans. You could use that. At least me and my dragon blade was win until I was tired :3

I understand that, but I know that if I have too long of a battle scene, it will get boring. Its happened to me before, so I thought it was best that I focus on one person more and their own battle experience, rather than all 5. If i had all 5 i believe it would have dragged out too long. I'll play around with it next time, and see how it works. The second reason it was short is that i think suck at battle scenes...so yea

chapter 3 was good , man if this was in-game i would of used demi and blew up the giant goblin leader. but yea this remind me of that one time in karu when we did that statue thing, and we all died cause it was so hard. ah yea good times

I think that you should make the goblins want to team up with you to kill a stronger enemy, so then they can reach their goals.

And then one of the guild members pops in and wipes out the goblins, making a huge mistake that will be regretted in the later chapters.

And I will show up to warn you guys about a new threat. I think that's how it should go.

But that's just my opinion, use it or not, it's up to the writer.

First point, I have thought of so it might be going in. Second point, I didn't think of that, so I'll put some thought into it. Third point, I'm thinking that would work, seeing as you should get into the story lol.
Oh and Yaz...the reason you didn't demi...was because I forgot about it . But still, take into consideration this Yaz, the 5 just ran a long and hard dungeon, with extra powerful skeletons. While they had a little break in that walk, in real life, pain still is felt for quite a long time. Fatigue also stays with ya, so when they went into a room full of goblins, with high attack power, it just drained you out too fast. You had no time to demi xD....but I'll definitly remember next time! LOL
Thanks, I like the ideas! Keep em coming, I'll keep writing.

i was really just joking plus it would be to early to add in a power like that , well i think so anyway. but um will people die in this story

Just got done reading chapter three! I have to say Nou, I liked the twist of ditching you to save our own skins. (Even if that's not what you meant, Bwahaha.) Oh and sorry for commenting on the wrong thingy before.

Haha mousy, of course I would sacrifice myself to save you guys . If you go back to chapter 2, you may find out why I was left in danger, and you guys are safe. But, I am glad you like the twist.
Working on Chapter 4 currently, hopefully it'll be done soon and be out.
Also, dont be sorry, I didn't post last time about it. As my bball coach always said: Dont be sorry, just dont do it again.

It's been a while since anything happened. owo

Okay first...to yaz. Death is REAL in the story. One life, one death. Will people die....possibly, possibly not. I'll see.
Flame, Sorry. I have been busy the past few days only able to write a few paragraphs. I will continue tonight and hopefully post it up tomorrow sometime.
I apologize for the delay.

Woot we're preparing for war in the castle~! Poor little Nou, I wonder if those goblins smell funny. Well, keep up the good work and lets see some butt kicking soon

OMG war wow i like this chapter. its so interesting. Noooo cant wait till chapter 5. lol i like that part where i go where is clowny lol i say that all the time in game. That made me laugh in rl.

I wonder that too Mousy...thanks to you and Yaz too! Haha Yaz im glad you like it...this chapter was kinda interesting to write since i didn't go into my own thoughts, it was just the others. Lol and im glad you liked the comment about clowny xD.
Well, Chapter 5 may be a bit different from expected...but we'll see.

You accidentally my idea.

Confusion for me:
Flameshot = he?
Flame talks without entering the room?
Flame is suppose to be a lazy mage, he gets his info from unknown sources, he doesn't take care of things that's told to do. He WATCHES what happens, he doesn't do anything to help people. Basically, the one guy that everyone hates but tends to show up at certain important events. This is based on the way I act in the game, by the way.

Oh well, one's knowledge are limited by one's point of view, just do your best on making a successful story. I think I am complaining, am I?

Yes. That is a complaint lol. Anyways..your character is not how imagined...so its kinda hard. I can't seem to put him well into the story by what you describe. So i'll try this. Flameshot and Flame are twins. Flameshot is the good one, that finds useful info to help the guild, however, still doesn't show up often. Flame however, is the lazy one, and the one you described up there. That may be easier for me. I'll work at it on the next one where you appear. Hopefully it'll be better

I can't wait to see what happens next

D: lol if we get attacked in the waterways , protect the children D:

I guess the chapter's a bit longer then the others so that's good! It's interesting that you included the townsfolk in the retreat, I always forget about them. Whoops? And by waterways did you mean like... Sewer system. I'd rather take my chances with the army of fomors then walk around in a smelly sewer.

I'm sure the children will be safe Yaz lol. Im not mean enough to hurt them like that.
Mousy lets the townsfolk die >.>, <.<. Waterways...yeah i guess you could say sewer, but waterway sounds cleaner, and I like it more. And if wanted you to take a chance with the fomors, I would have had you fight them instead of Yaz and Khayy LOL. Anyways, thanks for the reviews! Hopefully I can get the next chapter soon.

Seems like someone likes little kids.

I find it interesting how the story's main protagonist(if there was SUPPOSE to be one) isn't showing very often.

I think my main shouldn't show up for another 3 chapters, that's how side characters are suppose to be. I don't want to feel that important due to certain reasons that I will not tell anyone unless they ask.

You wont show up for a while...(and I also forgot which is your main lol), but yeah, your characters won't show up often since you dont want it too.
I have no idea if I wanted a main protagonist or not, I just went on writing. And actually, its more fun to write of others then myself. But yeah...he'll show up next chapter xD

Do you think you will have an important protagonist die in the story? I think it would make the story better if you did, but you should make sure that the death would have a big impact on both the reader and the story. Also, you should make sure that it is okay with whoever is going to die privately so no spoilers.
It ish awesome so phar.

Ah death...I, actually, do not know. Because once you die...theres no coming back, like in the game. To kick you out of the story...hm...idk. Unless I think of a miraculous way to revive you lol. But I dont know. I'll see as time hops along...
As for my update, Im on Chapter 6 right now, working at it. Hopefully be out by the end of this week